- I socialize best when other people are not around.
- I smell so bad that even the fleas went on strike.
- Life can be funny as long as you are not the one being laughed at.
- I ask God for forgiveness before I sin. This way, if he says no, at least I asked.
- I do my best work when I do nothing.
- There are only two things I am certain of. I just don’t remember.
- Some folks prefer to work for what they want. I prefer to nag.
- Actually, I live a very simple life. That’s what idiots do.
- A short memory is sometimes your best friend.
- Love is overrated. Hatred stays with you longer. I prefer longevity.
- Perception is reality. If I can’t see your point, then one of us is a moron.
- What good is saving for a rainy day if your life has already rained on you?
- I prefer to surround myself with empty space. People are too much trouble.
- I try to do the right thing especially when I have no choice.
- I feel better when you feel worse…just an observation.
- I may be a failure but I work very hard at it.
- I got lost in the Lost and Found…and nobody claimed me.
Copyright © 2013 Robb. Brown & Stuart Jerris-KNOCKOUT HUMOR